oh, i almost forgot. the title of that last blog is a reference to this merce cunningham quote that i love and wrote in my journal that i'm supposed to keep for the duration of the program:

you have to love dancing and stick to it. It gives you nothing back, no manuscripts to store away, no paintings to show on walls and maybe hang in museums, no poems to be printed and sold, nothing but that single fleeting moment when you feel alive. It's not for unsteady souls.